Love is Your Gift
by Sunnydalesis
Summary: When Buffy falls into Glory's portal, she ends up in the last place she expected: a world where her life is a TV show that has fans who love her. When she ends up in a living room filled with these fans, she learns what her real gift is. But going back to Sunnydale is only the beginning.
1. Chapter 1: Life Before My Eyes

Long Island, New York City, October 2015

It was a bit of a miracle that Teresa and Sebastian were able to make it to New York to meet their friends for New York Comic Con. They pulled up to a large blue and gray Victorian style house over in Long Island. Teresa rang the doorbell and smiled as Lauren opened the door to greet them, dressed in a fluffy bunny costume.

"Lauren!" Teresa said.

"You look awesome!" Lauren said.

Sebastian grinned at Lauren, showing off his Spike cosplay.

"Thanks!" Teresa said, showing off her white lab coat and glasses. "I'm gonna blow the socks off everyone Saturday, though, when I become Illyria!"

"Come on in!"

Teresa's smile was wider as she saw everyone else dressed up as different characters. Jodie was dressed in the Drusilla cosplay she wore for the London Comic Con. Dani was dressed as Tara while Meg was dressed as Willow. Claire pulled off a majorly awesome Cordelia cosplay while Diana looked every bit like Faith. Jenny bounced around the room, showing off her favorite blue and gray striped cardigan.

Everyone gathered around the TV, some with large bowls of popcorn and others with equally large boxes of tissues. After much discussion, it was decided that everyone was going to watch the season finales, starting with Prophecy Girl.

###

 _They say that when you're about to die, your life flashes before your eyes,_ Buffy thought as she kept punching the bag in the training room. She had a sense of impending doom on her shoulders, the kind that she felt when she went to face the Master a mere five years ago. _It feels like a lifetime ago_.

She smiled with tired eyes as Giles came in.

"How long have you been training?" Giles asked.

"About an hour," Buffy said. "More or less."

She and Giles fell into a discussion about how many apocalypses they lived through and that Buffy was not willing to sacrifice her sister to stop this one.

"I sacrificed Angel to save the world. I loved him so much... but I knew. What was right. I don't have that anymore."

As Buffy flashed back to when she faced Angelus in the graveyard, she heard a faint cry. It was almost like an echo of voices, yelling at her to stake him, that he was tricking her. Maybe that was her Slayer instincts at the time or the all-too-harsh voice of hindsight.

"I don't understand.I don't know how to live in this world, if these are the choices, if everything's just stripped away then I don't see the point. I just wish... I wish my mom was here."

She flashed back to when her mother kicked her out of the house. Again, she heard that same faint echo, a soft choir of cheers and words of encouragement that she never heard when she walked out of the house the first time.

" _We're here for you Buffy!"_

" _Joyce don't say that! She's going to leave you!"_

" _Where's Spike when you need him?! He should be there with her!"_

Buffy shook her head and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"The spirit guide told me that Death was my gift. I guess that means a Slayer really is just a killer after all."

Her mind quickly flashed to when she fought Faith in order to save Angel. How she was willing to kill her sister Slayer to save the man she loved only for him to end up leaving her. As she recalled the battle and offering herself up to Angel, that same faint echo resonated in her mind.

" _Kick her ass! Kick her ass!"_

" _OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD DON'T DO THIS ANGEL!"_

" _He's going to leave you! Don't feed yourself to him!"_

"I think you're wrong about that," Giles said.

"It doesn't matter. If Dawn dies, then I'm done with it. I'm quitting."

###

"Alright, everyone, we're coming up to The Gift," Lauren said.

Teresa sighed and held on tightly to Sebastian.

The episode started with the very long montage of flashbacks that showcased the entire series in under a minute. Everyone took a long breath as they watched the opening. Although they danced to the theme song in the previous finales, nobody decided to do so this time. They laughed at Buffy's witty banter as she rescued the teenage boy from a vampire. Some of them yelled at Giles for even considering sacrificing Dawn. They laughed at Spike when he said "When you say you love us _all_ ," knowing his feelings for the Slayer. They cringed as they watch Ben turn into Glory and insult Dawn, making her cry. Then as they watched Buffy break down in front of Giles, they cried out their encouragements.

"I wish she knew," Teresa said. "I wish she knew what her real gift was."

"What do you mean?" Dani asked.

"I don't think death was really Buffy's gift. It may have been the gift of every other Slayer, but Buffy is different. We always knew that, but they never did."

"You got that right," Diana said. "As much as we yell at the screen, she'll never hear us."

"She'll never know how much she actually changed our lives," Jodie said. "How she saved _our_ world as well as hers."

"Let's just hope Sarah Michelle Gellar won't get tired of hearing these kinds of things from us," Claire said.

Jenny shushed everyone else. "Buffy's taking Spike to her house!"

Everyone turned their attention to the screen as Buffy said, "Spike. Shut your mouth. Come with me."

"He'd definitely like to _come_ with her, alright!" Diana said.

Dani and Jodie giggled while Teresa and Jenny blushed.

###

As Buffy walked into her house, she wondered why she couldn't get that quiet legion of voices out of her head. She winced as she heard collective gasp as she let Spike into her house. She went up the stairs to get some more things, when she heard Spike say:

"I know you'll never love me."

She turned around silently.

"I know that I'm a monster," Spike said. "But you treat me like a man, and that's...

Time seemed to stop as Buffy looked at Spike with understanding. The chorus of voices started getting louder.

 _That's enough for you to kiss him!_ Buffy heard someone say.

 _Kiss him you idiot! You're gonna die in half an hour!_

 _How can she not see the way he is looking at her?!_

Then she heard a collective (and if she was hearing that right romantic) sigh.

"Get your stuff. I'll be here."

Little did Buffy know that the Hellmouth's magic was all over the town of Sunnydale. Dawn closed her eyes and felt the wind blowing against her face as Glory's minions tied her up at the top of the tower. She could feel the energy inside her already starting to stir.

 _Maybe that's just my guts churning_ , Dawn thought.

An hour or so later, the Scooby Gang arrived at the construction site. Buffy could hear the voices getting louder as she got closer to her sister. She was surprised that she was able to concentrate. She heard laughter as she watched Spike offer Willow his flask. _When did my life become a sitcom?_ Buffy asked. She waited in the shadows as the Buffybot battled Glory.

When Glory punched the Buffybot's head off and said "Did everybody else know the Slayer was a robot?" she could hear Glory's words echoing in her head, followed by a roar of laughter. Buffy had no idea how she was able to fight Glory with the voices in her head. She heard them telling her to hurry up, yelling at Spike for being easily defeated by the Doc. As Glory turned back to Ben, she headed up the tower. The roars quieted down only to unify with Dawn's piercing scream as blood dripped from her.

As Buffy untied Dawn, her sister pleaded at her. The portal began to open. Dawn ran to make the jump, but Buffy stopped her. As she looked at her sister and then at the portal, the voices gave way to flashbacks. She turned to Dawn as a look of realization appeared in her little sister's eyes.

"Dawnie, I have to," Buffy said.

"NO!" Dawn yelled. A legion of voices echoed Dawn's dissent.

"Listen to me! There's no time, Dawn, please listen. I love you. I'll always love you. But this is the work I have to do. Tell Giles I... I figured it out. And I'm okay. Give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now - you have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn. The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."

The words she said echoed in her mind. For a brief moment, she saw a room filled with people. They looked as if they were waiting for her.

She turned towards the portal and ran off the platform, jumping into it with open arms. As she fell in the portal, she cried out in pain, letting the energy take over her.

###

 _Lauren's House_

Everyone took a step back as the screen began to glow white. A white light burst from the screen, causing those sitting closest to cover their faces.

"Lauren, what's going on?!" Teresa asked.

"I don't know!" Lauren said. "This has never happened before!"

Everyone either jumped to hide behind the furniture or ran to the kitchen as the white light emanating from the television grew brighter

###

Buffy took out one last breath, welcoming death and watched as her body fell down to the ground. As the portal closed up and the sun rose, she saw a bright white light and heard that same legion of voices…

###

"It's a good thing some of us brought weapons!" Sebastian said, grabbing the prop sword that he brought with him.

"I thought I left that poltergeist at my parents' house!" Lauren said.

Diana grabbed some holy water from her pocket. "Call up a priest, Teresa! We're gonna need an exorcist!"

Teresa was about to pull out a crucifix from her pocket but Jenny stopped her.

"Wait!" Jenny said.

Everyone gasped as Buffy fell out of the screen and into the room. She stood in front of them with her arms at her sides, looking down at the floor.

Silence. For the first time in hours, there was finally silence in Buffy's mind. She looked up at the people in front of her, all dressed in strange clothes. Some of them even looked like...her friends. She recognized Anya's bunny costume, Willow's overalls, the green dress Cordelia wore, and Jenny Calendar's cardigan. But the people who wore them looked completely unfamiliar.

"Okay. Who are you and what kind of hell dimension did I end up in?" Buffy asked.

Everyone stood speechless.


	2. Chapter 2: A Whole New World

Nobody was sure who was more dumbstruck, Buffy or the people who were looking at her.

Teresa could barely speak. "It's her-I-I-I mean. It's you! I-I-I-I-I can't!"

"Teresa!" Sebastian said. "Breathe, baby."

The petite Filipino looked to her boyfriend and breathed deeply. Then she looked at Buffy and sighed in wonder and awe.

Everyone kept looking at each other to see who would make the first move.

Meg decided to approach Buffy first. She stepped forward and gave a bashful smile. "Hey, Buffy."

Buffy looked at everyone confusedly. "This has got to be the weirdest Hell dimension ever."

"What?" Jenny said. "No, you're not in a Hell dimension."

Buffy shook her head and put her arms out defensively. "Look, last thing I remembered, I had _your_ voices in my head, I jumped through a portal created by a Hell goddess over a Hellmouth, so why wouldn't I be in a Hell dimension?" She shoved at Jenny only to walk right through her.

"For one thing, you're not corporeal," Claire said.

"Who the Hell are you?! Where the Hell am I?!" Buffy turned around and saw her body on the screen, lying on the ground after jumping through the portal. Giles and the other Scoobies approached tentatively while Spike looked at Buffy's body and started to cry.

Buffy's voice dropped to a whisper. "Am I...dead?"

"Maybe?" Jenny said.

"Stop the Netflix, Lauren," Diana said.

Lauren nodded and used her universal remote to turn off the TV and the Roku connected to it.

"I'm still here, right?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah," Meg said, "but you're like...a ghost."

Buffy instinctively sat down in a lounge chair and was surprised that her body didn't go right through it. "But apparently I can still touch things."

"So she's like Phantom Dennis then," Dani said.

"Phantom who?" Buffy asked.

"It's a long story," Lauren said. "I think we should introduce ourselves first. I'm Lauren and you're actually in my house. In New York."

"New York?" Buffy asked. "What would I be doing in New York?"

"I honestly don't know. I mean, we were all just watching you-"

"Yeah, I saw. I saw myself dead! Or...mostly dead. I don't know."

"Well, as they say, there's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead," Teresa said nervously.

"And what are you? Some kind of scientist?"

"What?" Teresa looked at her costume and realized. "Oh no! This is just a costume."

"So I'm in New York in the middle of some kind of Halloween party?"

"Not exactly," Meg said. "It's more of a...pre-convention party."

"A convention? Like Star Trek type?" Buffy asked.

"Sort of," Sebastian said. "But we can explain that later. The real question is what exactly are you doing here?"

"I don't know. M-Maybe you can at least introduce yourselves first. My head feels all sorts of ugh right now."

"I don't blame you," Meg said. "I'm Meg."

Buffy looked at Meg, who was dressed in pink overalls and a Hello Kitty shirt, just like Willow. "You're dressed like Willow. Did you dye your hair?"

Meg blushed and tucked her auburn hair behind her ears. "Yes, I did."

Buffy looked up to Lauren and giggled at the sight of the brunette in the bunny costume. "And I'm guessing you're dressed as Anya, Lauren?"

"Yeah." Lauren smiled and turned to Jenny. "Jenny here is dressed as, well, Jenny Calendar."

Jenny smiled and gave an enthusiastic wave hello. Lauren then turned to everyone else who was huddled in the kitchen.

"I'm Claire," the girl dressed as Cordelia said. "You've seen Cordelia's dress before."

"You look better in it," Buffy said, starting to relax a bit.

"I'm Diana." Buffy looked at a tall brunette dressed in a red leather jacket and black jeans. "Guess who I am, B."

Buffy smirked. "Faith." She looked at an equally tall woman wearing a blonde wig and a gold-green corset dress. "That looks like something Tara would wear."

"Got that right!" Dani said. "I'm Dani, by the way." She gave a slight giggle and a wave.

Buffy stood up and walked to a guy with bleach blond hair, dressed in a long black leather duster, a red shirt, and black jeans and a short girl with pale skin and long dark hair dressed in a black lacy dress. "Okay, I know you are dressed as Spike and Drusilla, right?"

"Yep!" Jodie said. "I'm Jodie."

"British. Makes sense."

"I'm Sebastian," the bleach blonde guy said. "I'm not British."

"And who are _you_ supposed to be?" Buffy asked to the petite dark haired girl dressed in the white lab coat

Teresa giggled. "My name is Teresa. I'm dressed as Fred. She's a friend of Angel's."

Buffy's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow. I didn't think…"

"It's a long story," Teresa said.

"Sebastian your boyfriend?" Buffy asked.

Sebastian and Teresa put their arms around each other and nodded.

"So why are you dressed as Spike? I don't remember Spike ever mentioning any girl named Fred."

"Spike's my favorite character," Sebastian said.

"I just figured you'd be dressed as Angel if you're going to be a couple costume."

Teresa and Sebastian laughed. "Oh no need to worry! I have a Buffy costume planned for that!"

Buffy looked at Teresa confused. "Okay. Now this took on a whole new level of weird. Why are you...why is everyone dressed like my friends and the vampires I fought?"

Teresa was at a loss for words. "Well…"

"You remember coming out of the TV, right?" Sebastian said.

"Yeah. And watching myself…" A look of realization quickly took over her face. "Oh God. My life is a TV show?!"

Teresa smiled at Buffy. "Yeah. Yeah it is."

Buffy turned around and collapsed onto the couch. "Okay, my head officially can't take this. I am in New York surrounded by people dressed as my friends. And my life is a TV show. I don't know how this can get any weirder."

A white light started to glow in front of the television again.

"I think it just got weirder," Lauren said.

Everyone turned to look at the television as a familiar face appeared on the screen, the face of a man dressed in a brown jacket and a bowler hat.

"Whistler?" Buffy asked as she sat up.

"Hey, kid," Whistler said.

"What's going on?" Buffy asked. "Where...I mean I know where I am, I think. But how did I get here?"

"Well to start with Buffy, you're not in Sunnydale. You're not even in the year 2001."

"What?!"

Everyone winced. "How did we forget!?" Lauren whispered.

"So...What year _is_ this?"

"2015," Teresa said, walking closer to Buffy. "To be exact, it's October 1st, 2015."

"Wow. A-and they told me that they're all here for a convention-"

"That would be the New York Comic Convention," Whistler said. "Or New York Comic Con or NYCC for short."

"S-so my life is actually a TV show that's being aired in the future?"

"Not exactly," Dani said. "It came out in 1997 and ended in 2003."

Buffy gasped. "Don't tell me I die _three_ times...or two, rather."

"No, life goes on for you," Diana said. "It's just not the same as if it were still a TV show. But you've had it better than most of Joss's shows."

"Joss?"

"Joss Whedon," Whistler said. "He created you. And Sunnydale. And everyone in it. And Angel's world, too."

"Wow. But how can I-?"

"Exist? Be here? That's the funny thing. Teresa can probably explain it better than I can."

"Me?!" Teresa asked.

"You're the one who made the wish," Whistler said.

Teresa thought back to a mere half hour earlier. "Okay." Teresa turned to Buffy and said, "I'm not exactly sure how to explain this, but while you were crying about...how you wished that your mom was with you, I made a wish that you would know your real gift."

"I thought death was my gift," Buffy said.

"That's just what the script says," Teresa said. "Stories and characters as good as yours? They take on a life of their own. And we...we all wish that we could change what happens to you after what happened with Glory."

"So you all wished that my future would be different. But...wait. I just died. Again."

"Not exactly," Whistler said. "Your body right now is in a comatose state."

"Like what happened with Faith!" Jenny said.

"Exactly," Whistler said.

"So again, how am I here?" Buffy asked.

"Astral projection," Whistler said. "Your conscious mind fell through the portal and was led here by the power of your sister, the Hellmouth, and a wish held in the hearts from those who love you the most."

Buffy turned to look at everyone in the living room. "Them?"

"Us," Teresa said. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"So _why_ am I here?" Buffy asked.

"To know of the future," Whistler said. "The show as it is will still exist. But the Powers have finally gotten their act together and they realize...well, you need to stop the First from coming."

"The First?"

"The First Evil," Dani said, rolling her eyes. "We all hate it."

"Yeah, well, The First got into your dimension when somebody cast a resurrection spell. It led to a lot of bad things. Mostly the fact that Archaeus came in as well."

Jodie's eyes widened, "The Big Bad from Season 10!"

"I thought you said my show got cancelled!" Buffy said.

"It did," Jodie said. "But the story continues on in the comics. But I have a feeling Archaeus took on a life of his own as well."

"That he did, Jodie," Whistler said. "And we need to keep him in his Hell Dimension. Once he's done demolishing everything in Buffy's world, he'll go after yours and every other dimension out there."

Jodie, Teresa, and Dani exchanged knowing looks. "So where do we come in?" Teresa asked.

"You are going to help Buffy know her future and if you do it right, you'll fix things. Think of it as live action fanfiction."

"Fanfiction?" Buffy asked.

Everyone had looks of horror. "Uh...we'll explain that later," Teresa said, blushing.

"So what's gonna happen to the show?" Dani asked.

"It'll still exist as will the comics. We just need to take care of the side effects of the story becoming bigger than itself. If you do things right, Buffy will go back to Sunnydale and be able to prevent the First and Archaeus from entering her dimension and thus preventing him from coming into yours."

Everyone took a deep nervous breath.

"Oh boy," Meg said.

"Well, no pressure," Jenny said.

"The show and the comics will go on as just that...the original story," Whistler said. "Some people out there still need to learn from Seasons 6 and 7 and from the comics. They'll be self-contained and Archaeus won't be able to break out of them."

"Will we get to see the changes we make?" Jodie asked.

"Of course! Think of what you'll get to see as...an alternate edition," Whistler said. "Or a remake."

"This is the coolest thing ever!" Dani said.

"What's more important, though, is that Buffy will go back to Sunnydale understanding _why_ she needs to change what you think needs to be changed. She'll be staying with you for as long as it takes."

"147 days?" Sebastian asked.

"Hopefully, it won't take _that_ long," Whistler said. "But yes, the 147 days will still pass in Buffy's world."

"Oh boy," Buffy said.

"Well, good luck, you guys. I hoped I picked the right group of people."

The screen went black.

Dani immediately turned to Meg, Jenny, Sebastian, and Claire. "Meg, Jenny, Sebastian, Claire, you guys help Buffy get settled in. The rest of us are gonna figure out where to start."

"But Dani, I-" Teresa said.

"We need your input, Teresa," Dani said. "You and a good number of the others here want to change Seasons 6 and 7 the most. But the key is to figure out _how_."

"Okay." Teresa turned to Buffy and said, "We're gonna be upstairs if you need us, okay?"

Buffy nodded, uncertain. She sat back up as Meg, Jenny, Sebastian and Claire sat next to her. Lauren, Diana, Teresa, Dani, and Jodie went upstairs.

"Okay Dani," Teresa said. "Where do you think we should start?"


	3. Chapter 3: First Love's The Worst

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

It took a while for Lauren, Dani, Teresa, Jodie, and Diana to decide where to start. They debated over what to show Buffy first, what episodes they should skip, and how much she should really know.

Meanwhile, Buffy settled down in the living room with Meg, Claire, Jenny, and Sebastian.

"Are you okay?" Meg asked.

"I guess," Buffy said. "It's just a lot to take in. I was having flashbacks to when I had the ability of reading everyone's minds."

"Ooh! I loved Earshot!" Jenny said. "It wasn't exactly good timing and is way harsher in hindsight but still."

"So...maybe while we're waiting for everyone else, you can tell me about yourselves?" Buffy asked.

"Sure," Jenny said. "I'll go first!"

"You're seriously enthusiastic," Buffy said. "The real Miss Calendar was a bit more...chill."

"I know," Jenny said. "To be fair, I had at least three espressos this morning. Lauren and I have been living here as roommates for the past few months."

"You guys are in college?"

"Yeah. This is Lauren's grandmother's house and it's closer to the campus than where Lauren's parents live, so we both moved here. Lauren and I have been friends since high school and decided to go to the same college."

"Well at least your roomate's not a soul-sucking demon," Buffy said. "And you get your own room."

Jenny nodded.

"So what are you studying?"

"Lauren's going into poli-sci while I'm studying Art History," Jenny said.

"Cool. What about you, Meg?" Buffy asked.

Meg blushed. "M-me? Well, I'm actually studying music."

"Oh wow. What instrument?"

"Piano."

"I bet you're great on the piano. Willow's not of the musically good kind, sad to say."

"Oh, but Willow's not as bad a singer as she thinks she is," Meg said. "I mean-"

"Spoilers!" Sebastian said.

Meg gasped. "Oh yeah."

Buffy turned to Sebastian. "I guess that's something your girlfriend will show me?"

Sebastian nodded. "Yeah. She actually got me into the show. We've been together for two years."

"How did you meet her?"

"Through friends. I was originally from Paraguay and moved to New York after getting an athletic scholarship. I play soccer. I met Teresa while I was doing soccer practice and she was taking care of some kids. One of the kids she was with caught the ball when I kicked it way out of the field. We connected over a love for kids and now I'm an assistant soccer coach at the school where she teaches."

"That is almost too adorable," Buffy said.

"We know," Meg said. "Teresa has told that story so much, we've gotten diabetes as a side effect."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Teresa said as she walked into the living room. "I take it you're getting to know everyone?"

Buffy nodded "Sebastian tells me you're a teacher."

"Yep! I teach kids with special needs. It's a lot of work, but it's very rewarding."

Buffy gave an approving smile as Lauren, Dani, Jodie and Diana came in. "So what did you guys decide?"

"We are gonna start from the beginning," Jodie said. "We need to talk to you about Angel first before anything else."

Buffy looked at Jodie in confusion. "Why would I need to know anything about Angel?"

Jodie sighed. "Cuz he's not exactly who you think he is."

Lauren turned on the TV and Netflix and set up a laptop on the coffee table.

"What's the laptop for?" Buffy asked.

"One wonderful thing about the 21st century," Dani said. "There are people out there who actually analyze your show for a living."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Why?"

"Did you not hear what I said about stories taking on a life of their own?" Teresa asked.

Lauren opened up YouTube and showed two videos: An intro clip to a show called Once More, With Ling Ling and a video from Passion of the Nerd called "Why you should watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

"So these people have looked at the past few years of my life...and analyzed it?" Buffy asked.

"They love the show so much that they want to share it with the world," Teresa said. "The best part is that we're gonna all meet the at the con when it starts this weekend."

Buffy took a look at Passion of the Nerd's video and asked, "What the heck is Twilight?"

Almost everyone in their room rolled their eyes. "We'll tell you later," Diana said.

"Just listen to what Ian says," Teresa said.

Buffy winced as she watched the very short summary of Twilight. "Yeah, I think I can wait. So are we gonna start from the very beginning?"

"No, but their analyses are gonna help us when we get to looking into your relationship with Angel," Lauren said.

"So where do we start then?"

"Becoming, Part 1," Dani said.

Lauren clicked a few buttons on her remote, fast forwarding through the "Previously" segment. Buffy's eyes widened as she recognized Whistler's voice and watched as Angel, or rather Liam, stumbled out of the bar with his friend.

"What the hell is Darla doing there?!" Buffy asked.

"Seeking prey," Claire said. "It's kind of what vampires do."

Buffy squirmed as she watched Liam flirt with Darla, the blonde vampiress seducing Liam, going into vamp face, and siring him. Then she gasped as Lauren fast forwarded.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked.

"Fast forwarding to another flashback," Lauren said. "When Angel got his soul."

Buffy started to curl up. Meg and Jenny held onto her as they watched the gypsies curse Angel with his soul. "So the curse was created to make Angel suffer. I kind of already knew that," Buffy said.

"Yeah, but here's the problem with what Angel did after he got his soul," Diana said. Lauren fast forwarded to the next flashback, which showed Angel in New York City, chasing rats in an alley.

"Wait a second," Buffy said. "Angel was living off of rats for 90 years? And he didn't help any Slayers until Whistler came around?"

"Well basically," Jodie said. "But it gets worse."

Buffy cringed as she watched her fifteen year old LA self walking out of Hemery High, sucking a lollipop. She watched as Angel lurked while she struggled with slaying a vampire for the first time.

"No, no no no no!" Buffy said. "He told me he saw me on the steps...I thought…"

"You thought he meant Sunnydale High?" Meg asked.

Buffy nodded.

"Let's be honest, Buffy," Teresa said. "Angel was telling you what you wanted to hear."

"And yet he still decided that we can't be together and went off to LA instead," Buffy huffed. "He never gave us a chance."

"That's not exactly true," Dani said. "Remember when you saw Angel in LA? After the attack of the Indian Spirit?"

Lauren clicked a few buttons and switched the Netflix to show the episode "I Will Remember You." Buffy cringed as she watched herself argue with Angel and then looked confused as she watched her and Angel battle with the Mohra demon.

"Wait a second," Buffy said. "Angel destroyed that."

"Keep watching," Teresa said, her voice dripping with disgust. She held on tightly to Sebastian. Buffy's face fell as she watched how awkwardly she acted around Angel as they walked through the sewers.

"I can't believe we went over that crap again," Buffy said. Regret took on a look of shock as she watched Angel battle the Mohra demon and learn from the Oracles that he regained his humanity.

"But how?!" Buffy said. "How come I don't remember any of this? How can Angel get his humanity and then take it back and not tell me and not have me remember?"

Everyone fell silent. Buffy sighed and kept watching, watching her and Angel discuss how things would go now that Angel regained his humanity, followed by a major makeout session that led to them having sex and eating in bed together.

"Why?! Why did Angel take this from me?! We were happy! I was licking ice cream off his chest!"

But everyone stayed silent again. Buffy watched as Angel fought yet another Mohra demon only to have her save him in the end. Then, she gasped as Angel went to the Oracles again.

"Wait, what?!" Buffy asked. "He gets beaten down by one demon and all of a sudden he wants to be a vampire again?"

"It gets worse," Teresa said.

Buffy gasped as oracles decided to swallow the day.

"Wait!" Buffy said. "He didn't ask them if I could remember?"

"Frankly, I wish he consulted you about going to the Oracles or, you know, working out a way to deal with the Mohra demons," Diana said.

Buffy's eyes started welling up with tears as she watched Buffy plead with Angel.

"I hate saying this, but I kind of understand what he did-" Then she watched herself cry and give Angel one last kiss before time shifted.

"I can't believe it," Buffy said. "I mean...I wish…"

"Do you need a minute before we move onto Angel Season 2?" Lauren asked.

Buffy shook her head. "No. I...I hate what he did. I mean, he's right, but…"

Teresa and Diana looked at each other and shook their heads.

"You have every right to be mad at him," Meg said. "But do you think you were right when you said that you couldn't live if you kept the memories?"

Buffy sighed. "I guess we'll never know. So why are we watching Angel's show? Aren't I supposed to know about my future?"

"You do," Lauren said. "The thing is that we need to tell you about Angel first. He's kind of important."

"Okay," Buffy said. "So what are we gonna see next?"

Lauren switched to Angel season 2, episode 5.

"Wait, what's Wesley doing with Angel?" Buffy asked. "And where's Doyle?"

"Short version?" Dani said. "Doyle died saving the world and gave his visions to Cordelia. Wesley joined up with Angel afterwards."

"Huh. He definitely looks different from when I last saw him."

"He's way more than the sissy ponce you knew before," Jodie said.

"So what happened after Faith decided to go to prison?" Buffy asked. "I kinda remember her mentioning some kind of law firm?"

"Wolfram and Hart," Lauren said. "They show up in this one."

Their conversation carried over to a scene to Angel walking down a street and seeing Darla walking nearby.

"WHAT IS THAT BITCH DOING?!" Buffy yelled as the Angel theme played. "HE DUSTED HER!"

"Yeah, that's the thing," Meg said. "Wolfram and Hart kind of brought Darla back using a ritual."

"And they want her back because?"

"The long story short," Jenny said, "is that they want Angel on their side. They want to get Angelus and have him work for them."

"Ugh!" Buffy turned her attention back to the screen and watched as Angelus met with Darla in an alleyway, acting affectionately towards each other, stalking Drusilla. Then she watched in horror as the show cut to Angel losing Darla in the crowd. It only got worse as she watched Angel stalk the newly human Darla, falling for her mind games, dragging her into an underground area, vamping out, sucking her blood, and making out with her.

"Oh God, that skank!" Buffy said. "What the hell is he doing?"

"Well remember Darla's human now, meaning she has her soul," Meg said. "Part of him wants to redeem her."

"Not that she deserves it," Diana snarked.

Buffy cringed as Darla leaned in close to Angel whispering about how she wants to give him one moment of happiness.

"You never made me happy," Angel said.

"But that cheerleader did?" Darla said. "We were together 150 years! We shared everything. You're saying - never?"

"You couldn't understand."

"I understand alright." Darla walked away from Angel with a snarl. "Guy gets taste of something fresh and he thinks he's touching god."

"It wasn't about..."

"Oh, you bet your ass it was! There was a time, in the early years, when you would have said I was the definition of bliss! Buffy wasn't happiness. She was just new!"

Buffy stood up. "How dare she say that!"

The others stood up and gave Buffy a serious look.

Teresa got up from the couch and walked to Buffy. "Buffy, lemme give you a scenario for a second."

"What?"

"You remember how Whistler brought up fanfiction?" Teresa asked.

"What about it? Is there anyway you can change what happened to me back then?"

Teresa shook her head. "Many fans of the show speculate on what could've been, including giving you a happy ending with Angel. But that's not what I want to talk about. Why did you get mad over what Darla just said?"

"Because that's not true! Angel loved me! He didn't know about the stupid happiness loophole in his curse."

"And yet he had 100 years to find out about it. The reason I bring up fanfiction is this. I have this story where you and Dawn are twins and Dawn is in a relationship with Angel. What if Dawn was in the same scenario as you were? Completely caught up in her love for Angel to the point of only seeing him?"

"I would've thought she lost her mind and was moving too fast with him."

Teresa led Buffy to the couch and sat her in front of the laptop that Lauren put on the coffee table. "There is a reason we needed to have the analytical videos." She typed up on the laptop and clicked a couple times, leading to Passion of the Nerd's analysis of "Becoming Part Two."

"I don't think the show is saying that we can't have love and be adults," Ian said as clips from the show featuring Buffy and Angel played. "Rather that adult love requires us to be who we are. Adult love requires us to maintain our authenticity and integrity. Our choices define us and when we act as though we don't have any, our lives become meaningless."

"Your relationship with Angel consumed you," Teresa said. "And it still consumes you now, albeit in a different way."

Buffy sighed as tears streamed down her face. "And what about Angel?"

Teresa looked at Lauren and said, "Go on to episode 7. We got a lot of ground to cover."

Buffy nodded. She watched as Angel met with Darla in China, begging her to take him back.

"He never got over her," Buffy said. Then she gasped as she watched Angel torture one of the lawyers from Wolfram and Hart for information.

"That lawyer's a human, though," Buffy said. "Why would he?"

"Because they go after him. He doesn't like them."

Then Buffy watched as Angelus kissed Darla after saving some missionaries and found Drusilla and Spike.

"Wait a sec...Spike just came out of killing that slayer in China," Buffy said. "Angel could've stopped him."

"But he didn't," Meg said.

Then, she watched in horror as Darla gave Angel a choice and Angel deciding to leave, as Darla begged Angel to turn her back into a vampire.

"Don't tell me Angel turns her back!" Buffy said.

"Worse," Sebastian said. "Drusilla does."

"WHAT?!" Buffy said, standing up in protest.

"You're gonna have to sit down for this, honey," Dani said. "We have a few more episodes for you to see and it'll be a long night."

Buffy reluctantly sat back down as she watched Angel going through The Trial to save Darla only to fail. Darla being revived into a vampire by Drusilla and the two of them feasting on the lawyers of Wolfram and Hart.

"Angel...he let them kill them?!" Buffy screamed.

"Well they were the ones that sent Darla to him in the first place," Diana said. "And they work for demons."

"But they're human! Even if they work with demons, Angel had no right to let those skanks feast on them like that."

"And that's why Cordy, Wesley, and Gunn were fired," Meg said. "Angel felt like he was doing the right thing. And then he tried burning them to a crisp."

"That still doesn't make what he did any better."

"It gets worse," Jenny said. "Lauren, do you think we can skip to Reprise and Epiphany?"

"I definitely think so," Lauren said.

"What happens?"

"Well...keep in mind that around this same time, you were dealing with the death of your mother," Claire said.

"Yeah, I know," Buffy looked down, despondent. "And Angel came to see me."

"You'd better watch this one," Sebastian said. "Because this is what he did before visiting you."

"Or rather who," Diana said.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

Lauren brought Buffy's attention back to the screen, which showed Angel visiting Darla after getting the ring from Wolfram and Hart. Buffy gasped as she watched Angel kiss Darla and throw her around the room, into the bedroom and cried out as Angel and Darla had sex with each other.

"What the hell was he thinking?" Buffy asked. "He...he slept with her?!" She curled up as she watched Angel jump out of bed in the next episode. Darla assumed that Angel lost his soul, but she quickly realized that he still had it.

Buffy hit the coffee table, her fists making a resounding bang. "She did not save him, that-that-that-that skanky bitch!"

"I think we finally broke her," Diana said.

Buffy started shaking as the realization fell into place. Angel came to her right after sleeping with Darla out of despair. After letting his sire and childe murder and feast on innocent humans. And she kissed him. And wanted to be with him forever.

"I have been...so blind," Buffy said.

Lauren paused the show as everyone gathered around Buffy.

"How could I believe…" Buffy stammered.

"It's okay, Buffy," Dani said. "We all had a love like you had with Angel. The thing is though, we all moved on from it."

"What happened with you and Angel wasn't your fault," Meg said.

"Angel has his own problems and he hasn't come to terms with them," Jenny said.

"God knows if he ever will," Diana said.

"Are you okay?" Claire asked.

"Not right now," Buffy said. "But I gotta be honest. I never had any time to really reflect on the past. You really think my love for Angel was...immature?"

Everyone nodded.

"Do you remember what you said to Angel when you were eating ice cream in bed?" Sebastian asked.

Buffy laughed. "I was kind of distracted by the naked Angel part. But yeah, I do. But seriously guys, what does it have to do with my future? I already know that I'm pretty much doomed when it comes to relationships."

"But you don't have to be," Jodie said. "Lauren, Dani, Teresa, Diana, and I wanted you to understand your relationships with everyone so that you have a better understanding of yourself. You can't save the world if you can't save yourself."

Buffy nodded. "I kinda get that. Does that mean that Angel's right? That I deserve a normal relationship with a normal guy?"

Everyone shook their heads. "That's the next thing we're gonna talk about. Riley."

"And Xander," Diana said. "But I think that can wait til the morning."

Lauren looked at the clock. "Oh goodness, it's getting late."

"You guys don't have any work in the morning, do ya?"

"No, we're all on vacation," Dani said. "We just can't help you save the world on three hours of sleep."

Buffy nodded. "I understand. But given that I'm kind of a ghost, I guess I don't need to sleep."

"So what will you do?" Meg asked.

"I think I'm gonna watch the analytical videos. And maybe look at the past few years of my life again."

"Some of us will be sleeping in the living room, but we're happy to watch with you when wake up," Claire said.

"Thanks," Buffy said.

Some of the group headed upstairs to the guest bedrooms. Teresa, Sebastian, Meg, and Jenny, however, stayed in the living room. As everyone settled into their sleeping bags, Buffy sat down in a lounge chair with Lauren's laptop in front of her and watched her life and the videos that analyzed it, starting with Season 1. It felt like looking through yearbook photos and laughing at how stupid she looked. A part of her almost missed the Master. He was easy pickings compared to Glory.

As she finished the episode "When She was Bad," she saw sunlight coming in through the windows. Everyone slowly woke up.

"Morning everyone," Buffy said to the people in the living room.

"Morning, Buffy," Teresa said.

"I guess last night wasn't a dream after all," Jenny said.

"I think we might still be dreaming," Meg said.

"Well as far as dreams go, this isn't a bad one, if I do say so myself," Buffy said.

* * *

We'll get to what Angel did while Buffy battled Glory in another chapter.

Tell me what you think!

Next chapter is going to focus on Riley and Xander. Feel free to comment on anything you want Buffy to know about Xander, but also be kind. I'm hoping to fix him in this fic. Riley, of course, will be justly punished by dying a horrible and painful death. The only question, of course, is how.


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